Motivation - encouraging your child to go out!

Join Roar on her "great big expedition".

Use Roar the Little Dinosaur as a motivating role model to encourage your child to go out and play, visit familiar and new places and discover what's going on outside the home.

Find out more about the Roar books at www.roar-littledinosaur.com

Happy motivating!
Hazel Reeves
www.roar-littledinosaur.com

It's got my name on it!

I went crazy at the weekend and made loads of Gingerbread men. I took some to school and gave them out to the children I share books with. I'd put them in individual bags and stuck Christmas labels on them: "To … from Mrs Reeves."
The reaction from the children was really special and quite significant:

One little boy, who's on the Autistic Spectrum said: "You've got a surprise for us. Oh Thank You Mrs Reeves." The little chap, who finds it difficult to give eye contact and often whizzes around the classroom, gave me an impulsive squeezy hug.

"Did you make them for us?" said another little girl, who finds it quite hard to concentrate in class.

"It's got my name on it!" shouted out one little boy, with great delight and amazement.

I nearly didn't put name labels on them. It would have been easier to hand out gingerbread men unwrapped. The children would have eaten them and that would be that. Their reaction has reminded me of the deep need within us all to be called by name. To be known by name and to be recognised as an individual is a powerful affirmation of who we are.

The Christmas songs and stories tell us that "Santa Claus is coming to town" and that he's bringing gifts to us as individuals.
The prophet Isaiah delivered a message from God that said:

"I have called you by name; you are mine." 

The Message translation of the Holy Bible puts it like this:

“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
    I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
    When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
    it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God.


Happy Christmas, if you're celebrating.
Best Wishes
Hazel Reeves
www.roar-littledinosaur.com

Author in Residence - in a pop-up tent!

On 2 afternoons a week I'm having great fun sharing books with children in Class 1, using my puppet buddies. We sit in a rather small pop-up tent in the book corner and share picture books and listen to individual children read. The joint sharing of books is so much more than just 'listening to readers'. The children love using the puppets to look at the books, talk to me and take the puppet to find the next child.
I'm being presented with hand written 'invitations' for the puppets, lots of 'mark making' on scrap paper and lots of chat about the picture books and other unrelated bits of information they wish to share. I'm in great admiration of the teachers who plan meticulously and use their creative minds to teach young children a vast array of topics...as for me and the puppets...we just love sharing books!

 

Watch out for upcoming news of the Roar puppet and next 3 books for 2014 at www.roar-littledinosaur.com 

Best wishes
Hazel Reeves
www.roar-littledinosaur.com                                                                                                                   

Oats in the carpet.

There are oats scattered across my carpet and oats across the kitchen floor. There have been tears before school and tears before bed-time. Term time has started and I watch with admiration how my daughter bravely faces each day. She cares about the minute details of her friends lives, the perfect presentation of each piece of homework and she feels the need to get it right every second of the day.

Sometimes when the pressure rises inside her she feels the need to release the tension and rips up paper and scatters it on the floor. Today it was her breakfast oats!

Cleaning the floor takes a few minutes. Keeping a balance between positive and negative mental health is a life long learning process. I love her and her ways, so off I go to clear the floors.

Best wishes
Hazel Reeves
www.roar-littledinosuar.com

Holidays

The sun is shining, our plans are made, we're packing bags, it's that time of year when everyone asks you if you're taking a holiday. This year we can say yes, we are taking a regular summer holiday like other families. We've learnt some things to avoid and we are taking a huge risk and making a change from our usual unseasonal holiday in a remote spot! We're still heading for a quiet destination with minimum fuss but there will be other people there and lots of cars on the road and we're travelling further than 3 hours away from home. Will it be ok?

Good news! My daughter has packed a bag full of everything that may be needed on a car journey and for a holiday by the sea.  I didn't need to worry as she has now taken on the role of chief organiser and activity bag packer. When we got to our destination we were upgraded to a different self catering lodge. This took some time to adjust to and it was a close thing if the bags were going to be unpacked. I held my breath, took several steps backwards and let dad deal with this hitch in our carefully laid plans.

The next day when it was apparent that other families were staying at the same location, I heard a voice saying: "They shouldn't be here!"
We met another family with a little boy with autism. As he sat in the tea rooms listening to music through his headphones and laughing to himself out loud, my daughter looked up from her book. We got chatting to the other family. Neither of us felt so alone anymore! We met near the shower block and shared stories of our days out. He'd disappeared and runaway from their tent. They found him hiding in the farmhouse porch. Our daughter had found it hard to return to our lodge after a day out. The transition from car to holiday lodge was overwhelming her. "What do I do?" was the anguished cry. Thankfully she rummaged in her large bag and found one of the many activity books she had packed!

The sun shone, we swam in the sea. We had delicious food and much that was the same as at home but...we went on a summer holiday to a new destination, at a busy time of year and we not only survived but we may even go again!

Happy Holidays!
Best wishes
Hazel Reeves

Small World

There is a whole world of little animals living in our hallway. They come in family groups and have their own homes, boats, caravans and shops. Their food is tiny, their cups and plates minuscule and you can brush the hedgehogs hair with a hairbrush the size of my little finger nail!
Here's a world to escape to when everything gets too noisy and busy. You can ask a special friend to join in and even invite them to bring along their small world of animals to meet yours.
Ordering a small world of little animals brings realignment to my daughter's mind and many other children who crave structure and serenity in a chaotic world full of sudden changes.
Fears can be played out, family groups behave as required and rehearsals taken for the big events in life. I must admit I rather like brushing the hedehogs hair and ordering tiny pizzas from the squirrel who sells them and offers a free delivery service on his little bicycle!

In fact, I'm just off to visit this small world of animals who have most recently moved into the dolls house. I feel like a giant peering through the tiny window and am wondering when it was that we, as adults, stopped playing and forgot the importance of play!


Best wishes
Hazel Reeves
www.roar-littledinosaur.com

Beach Prayers

I was walking along the beach yesterday. The long awaited spring sunshine warmed my face.The familiar sea breeze had lost its harsh winter edge and I felt privileged to be alone with my dog in such peaceful surroundings. I've walked this beach many times over the past decade. Sometimes harmoniously, frequently in despair. My cries of inadequacy competing with the crashing waves and icy winds. I have always returned a little lighter and somehow more able to deal with my daughter's autism. This isn't magic but an age old wisdom that let's my spirit cry out, be heard and the ancient mystery of prayer bring about a change in my daily situation.

I think that many of my prayers went like this:

Prayer for Wisdom

I'm all out of ideas, words and inspiration,
This little person's got me running, sighing, inwardly crying,
I don't know what she needs or how to find out.

Take me to the right door, lead me through it,
Let me feel your presence, your breath, your wisdom,
I'm screaming out to you, holding out to you,
Help me carry on, give me a new way through.

Everywhere I go I'm meeting people who know someone living with or working with children with autism. Prayers for wisdom are going up each and every hour. The biggest answer to my initial prayer was to know that it wasn't my fault and that I wasn't alone. Maybe we can be an answer to someone else's prayers. Let them know that they are not alone and share the strategies that have worked in little ways at various stages of this long and difficult but surprisingly rewarding journey.

I'd love to hear about the little things that help you.
Please do post a comment!

Best wishes
Hazel Reeves
www.roar-littledinosaur.com

Rewards

The other day I was driving along the road and I was delighted to see that I had received a smiley face from a traffic calming monitor beside the road. I was getting it right, I was driving at the correct speed. I felt strangely satisfied, such is the power of a positive reward.
My daughter still likes to collect smiley face stickers on a reward chart. We've been using sticker charts on and off for years. She said that she loves the rewards she gets when the chart is full. We all like to be rewarded. It doesn't matter how old you are, it works.
I received copies of my new Roar books recently. My oldest daughter said: "Mum, I'm so proud of you!" I felt warm from the inside out, at receiving such heartfelt praise.
Smiley faces, a cup of tea and special chocolate biscuit, a word of praise from family and friends, a kind word, a squishy hug, fill you up, lift you up and tell you that you're getting it right. Small rewards make a big difference. We walk a little taller and often find ourselves passing on the praise, the smile, the hug.

Best wishes
Hazel Reeves
www.roar-littledinosaur.com

Making Dens

I love making dens. Throughout the generations children have been making dens. Special places for hiding away in, meeting with friends in, mini-homes with salvaged bits and pieces converted into useful  items. Outside, dens are made in bushes, trees and tents. Inside, dens appear behind sofas, under the stairs, in cupboards, attics and in ready-made pop up tents. The possibilities are endless...
For the little person with autism dens can become an essential place to restore an overloaded mind. My daughter would often retreat under the table or behind the sofa. I had to learn that this was okay and something that she needed to do! It wasn't the hiding that was difficult for me to understand but the refusal to be comforted by me when her screams had accelerated and showed no signs of subsiding after several hours. Looking back perhaps this is how my little daughter was feeling:

My fears have got the better of me,
Overwhelmed by faces, voices, gestures and uncertain movements,
I retreat under the table,
Locked in by solid wood,
Surrounded by my favourite possessions,
Comforted by my own ticking mind,
Slowing down as my screams subside.

Having a special place to go to continues to be very important at home. We have created Special Agent Head-Quarters, Nature Detective dens, and cosy corners for snuggling down in with a book or other activity. Sometimes sister is invited in or maybe a special friend but the place needs to be safe from uninvited intrusion.

Happy adults often have their own dens: The shed, summerhouse, caravan, special comfy reading chair.  Not such a bad idea is it? Taking frequent mini-retreats from the busy social world that we live in. Special places are almost sacramental. Sitting, thinking, being still, waiting ...

Best wishes
Hazel Reeves
www.roar-littledinosaur.com

Valentine's Day - What's love got to do with it?

Valentines day is approaching. A day for love to be declared, cards to be sent and heart shaped cookies made. It reminds me of when I first heard three little words from my daughter that made my heart sing...

Standing alone at the school side-gate, I await your exit from the boisterous school day. I acknowledge the other parents as they walk past me. Here you come, beautiful little girl of mine, carrying your oversized reading bag and wearing a determined expression which I warily recognise. Staring past me, you walk away. I long to hear your news, to have you walk beside me. I smile and see the other girls bubbling with words, tumbling along with mums, holding hands. You walk along the kerb or trail your hand along the hedge, walking your invisible line leading you to your transport. I drive, you fire questions. I answer, you scream. So much in your day has frustrated you, it all comes pouring out at me. We arrive home, you cannot leave the car. When you eventually emerge, you jump, repeatedly crying, screaming and flapping your hands. I stand beside you, walk away, kneel beside you. We are home. My beautiful, clever, talented daughter who has autism. This is your other world.

I remember vividly the steps we have taken to here. You falling over and shouting,"get away, don't touch me", the searing pain I felt inside. The Christmas morning, surprise laden table with pretty festive mats and sparkly table decorations. You reaching out your chubby toddler arm, sweeping them to the floor. "You shouldn't have done that!" became the familiar cry and inside my head screaming, "Why?" The gentle paediatrician offering me a tissue across the gap of questions, assessment, diagnostic reply. Tears tracing silently down my cheeks while you investigated the room, seemingly oblivious to my aching maternal cries.

"I love you," I say into your hair as I kiss you goodnight. You turn your face away. In the middle of the silent night you stand by my bed-side waiting for me to wake and know what is frightening you. I stir, see you and long again for three little words to come racing back to me.

Next morning in the school cloak-room as I say "goodbye", you turn to me. Placing your little hands around my ear you whisper the words I have longed to hear. "I love you." I love you too and I could sing. For all those moments when I cry inside and don't know what to do. I did get this one thing right. To keep on saying, showing, believing that you can learn what every heart needs to know. Can I shout it aloud, should I tell every stranger in the street. My six year old daughter told me three little words. Today we walked together and she gave those words back to me...

Keep singing "I love you's" over your child. Every soul needs to hear that they are loved and loved and loved...

Best wishes
Hazel Reeves
www.roar-littledinosaur.com

Celebrations

I'm in a celebratory mood. My first three Roar the Little Dinosaur books have been shortlisted for the prestigious Education Resources Awards. Find out more and read the latest Roar reviews at: http://www.roar-littledinosaur.com/

We need to get planning so that I can attend the awards evening and include my lovely family in the celebration. Going away with a child with autism requires military planning and a good sense of humour! Where will we eat, what will we eat, where will we sleep, what will it look like, what can I take with me, who will we meet...

You learn some useful strategies; have a faithful rucksack which is packed with favourite things, a notepad for a timetable for each day, sensory fiddle toys for the car journey and standby snacks if other food is refused. Do not forget the special toys who are loyal companions but also double up as interpreters or fellow secret agents when anxieties overwhelm! Several years ago I also included a pop-up tent on the autism kit list. Very useful to hide in for a short break. If you use a blanket for a makeshift tent both adult and child can fit inside together. I can recommend this technique from personal experience. Make sure you have packed your own favourite snacks. Tent dwelling can be a lengthy experience!

More good news: Three more Roar the Little Dinosaur books are available very soon. (February 25th)

Take a look at these fantastic front covers. Roar's joining in with Music, Days out and Sports!

Available to pre-order from:
http://www.roar-littledinosaur.com/buy.html


Best wishes
Hazel Reeves

Snow and the flow chart of uncertainties.

We've had snow. Snow days, snowy nights, ice, sleet, frost and now sludge! (the dirty, wet snow left slowly thawing on the pavements and driveway).
Snow comes with a downfall of emotions. Excitement, anticipation, fear, joy, anxiety, uncertainty...
It's snowing! Is school closed? Can I make a snowman? Can I go sledging? Is daddy home yet? Why isn't he home yet? Why does it take longer to drive home in the snow? I want to go outside and play! I'm too tired but I have to go outside now! What if it all disappears?
Things look different covered in a blanket of fresh snow. The beauty of the fading winter light across the fields is breathtaking. So with the bag of churning emotions there also comes a peace. Strange but true.
To help us through the chilly days we told a social story: When it snows we can go outside and play in it. We can also stay inside and be cosy. We can bake good things to eat and sit beside the fire and keep warm. One evening this did seem to quell the wave of anxiety that was threatening to overwhelm our household.  Making birdfood mixtures has also helped. Something to do inside and a purposeful activity for outside.

It's now raining and a sense of relief is seeping through our exhaustion. Let's not think about the possibilities that rain can bring!

Best wishes
Hazel Reeves
www.roar-littledinosaur.com